The Ultimate Guide
to Online Dating

Contents

Introduction

Online dating is rapidly becoming the number one way to meet new people. To date, there are 54 Million single people in the US, 40 Million of whom have tried online dating. We start off in Volume 1 by giving you an introduction into the world of online dating and taking a look at reasons why it beats all other traditional methods of finding a suitable partner.

In Volume 2, I am going to ask you to examine yourself deeply so that you set out your preferences to filter women that will best match your specific interests and personality and not just go for anything in a skirt that moves. We will remove the mystery about the beast that we are going to be conquering to gain an understanding about how women think and what they find attractive in men. Knowledge is power my friend, and there are no shortcuts here.

Volume 3 helps you set up your profile to attract the sort of women that fit your personality by taking you through the sort of usernames and taglines that work best. It will also show you what to include in your written profile description to drive women crazy and make them want to know more and how to take photos to give the best impression. There are lots of examples to go along with the theory to help you display yourself in the best possible light and make a great first impression.

After you know what you want, have got a great profile, and have attracted the right type of women, next you need to communicate in a way that keeps them aching to know more about you and reel them in. Volume 4 does just that, and also teaches you to organize yourself to keep track of things in readiness for when your dates start rolling in.

Then it's off to the real world. You will learn how to go about making the first phone call and meeting the lucky ladies in person. Where are the best places to go for dates? What times of the day or week should you try to meet up? Those are just some of the questions covered in Volume 5.

The manual has been written in a step by step fashion for those who have never tried online dating, however if you have already dabbled but not had any real success, then this system will help you examine the way you have been doing things to improve your results.

It's best read in full initially to get the maximum success, but if you already feel competent in particular areas then just pick out what you feel would be most beneficial to you. The key is to interpret the instructions and implement them in a way to suit your unique personality and style, and always remember: practice makes perfect.

Symbols

Have you ever read a book and thought you understood it perfectly, then, eager to start using your great new skills, suddenly realized you still didn't have a clue where to start? To combat this, the system is written in as practical a way as possible and we have included lots of examples where necessary to help you put things into context. Look out for the following symbols:

These symbols are used to show you Good Examples of best practice, and Bad Examples which show you what to avoid.

Throughout the system you will also come across symbols indicating points of special importance. These are labelled as key tips and cautionary flags which you should pay particular attention to as follows:

Be sure to take on board and implement these special nuggets of information. These are Must Do’s in order to gain an edge on your competitors.

Be especially careful where you see these symbols. Failure to follow these could result in you being rejected before you even get up and running.

Kruptos Dunamis

Finally, just a word on Greek mythology: Over three thousand years ago, the Greeks looked to the power of the gods to help them find love and eternal youth. The goddess of love was Aphrodite (Latin name Venus), and one of her most admired children was Eros (Latin name Cupid), the god of love. The Greeks have a word for hidden, which is Kruptos. Greeks looked to Aphrodite and Eros to help them release their hidden inner strength (Kruptos Dunamis) to conquer the challenges of love. The techniques taught in this system will allow you to unlock your hidden powers of seduction. All that is left to say is, grab a drink, find a quiet spot, and start unlocking your Kruptos Dunamis!

Who Am I?

I have been described by women I’ve met online as a soulful connoisseur who is somewhat intellectually deep. I have been described as a man who comes across as a mystery, but charmingly confident and fearlessly funny and someone who carries a sprinkle of charisma, creativity and witticism.

It's funny to think that those comments are a far cry from the responses I would have gotten back in 2000 when my good friend introduced me to the world of online dating. “Try it, you’ll really like it.” He said. He was completely right.

Who am I is all that concerns me, but most men will deny everything written here and women will certainly doubt it. I present my confessions to you, naked and raw, and certainly not for the faint of heart. It will lead you fast and hard to the realization of the sacred entirety of my experiences under the comfortable blanket of humor, passion, sincerity and honesty.

Regardless of how I may have been analyzed and scrutinized over the years under the watchful eyes of those critics who desired a crash course in my secret powers, simply put, I’m a man who is blessed with the ability to exist according to my own design. I am devoid of distrust and distraction, and I never wait to arrive at goals but to rather behave as one who already attained them. You see, life for me belongs in the moment, and to be honest with you, I’m having an absolute blast with online dating.

First off, however, I need to make one thing clear. I’m not a doctor, nor have I been a therapist, professional psychologist, television host or some professor. I’m just a regular guy who has learned through trial and error how to meet far more women in far less time than I could have ever imagined.

I’m an entrepreneur involved in a wide variety of business ventures ranging from Project Management, Real Estate, Security Technologies, Business Consultancy and Dot com Ventures. You see life within my corporate jungle is extremely busy and rather than trying to torture myself further by approaching women in bars or clubs, and then ending up struggling with meaningless conversations with women in places where you can’t even hear yourself think, I eventually turned to online dating sites.

Yes, on face value It seemed like a really good idea even though it did have a certain stigma attached to it for a long while where internet dating was known as an arena for the psychologically deranged, sick and pathetically eager bottom feeders. Thankfully times have changed and people have moved on with respect to their thinking and understanding. Regardless of the negative hype it had back then, I figured it would just be easier and more time efficient to sit in front of the computer and join one of these sites.

You are probably thinking to yourself: “That sounds fine, but what makes you such an expert on this 21st century form of dating and why did you write this system to meeting women online?” Well, in a nutshell, the majority of men just don’t have a goddamn clue about meeting women online. Most guys believe they have the pulling power of a plow horse, and they're unable to comprehend that women see straight through their plastic smiles, whimsical cyber flirts and insincere, wolfish demeanor within a microsecond.

There’s no body language or eye contact involved when trying to meet women online, and you simply can’t stand out from a crowd in the same manner you could when compared to dating in the traditional sense. You’re just one of the millions of profiles posted in an array of thousands of dating websites. But, thankfully for you, this is where I come in.

  • Over 12 years in the field, I’ve studied the teachings of the highest profile dating gurus and coaches on the planet, and integrated the best advice, techniques and tips into this step by step dating system.
  • I’ve been on countless online dating sites, corresponded with more than 17,000 women from various countries and nationalities, and dated in excess of a thousand women.
  • I’ve moderated on many well-known dating sites and written articles, blogs, press releases and held workshops on the subject of meeting women online.
  • I believe that I have developed the most complete and comprehensive online dating system out there which is a guaranteed detailed guide for successfully meeting women online.
  • The system will reveal a method of creating powerful subject lines that intrigues enough interest that a woman will want to open your email out of the hundreds in her inbox.
  • I will reveal to you how I fixed my profile so that it turned it into a compelling unique advertisement.

So what’s my point with all this? Well, simple really, I wanted to illustrate what a success and a boom the internet dating has been to my social life for the last twelve years. Believe me when I tell you that I’ve tried and done it all and that includes the good, the bad and the ugly. I’m on a mission to change your life, because it certainly changed mine.

Come on, how difficult can it be to send out a few e-mails, exchange messages and ask her out?

Not as easy as I initially imagined. To my utter dismay and disbelief I found out the hard way that it wasn’t simple at all.

To begin with, I loathed the lack of response. It felt like getting rejected to your face, without any hint about what the issue was. It took a little while until I could figure out why this was happening, and through trial and error, I developed a few techniques to really make my time on online dating sites work for me. Early on, one important thing I discovered was that I needed to see things from a woman's perspective.

I started to study all the dating products out there, including books, DVD’s, audio courses, and attending workshops and seminars. Some of these were helpful and I picked up some good tips and advice, but most were poorly structured, without giving practical examples and difficult for normal guys to implement in the real world. Others were too simplistic and gave the impression that with just a great photo with a killer smile you could go from zero to hero.

To tell the truth, I was amazed from the volume of online dating courses available which are authored by guys who had all the theory but had never put it into practice. I know this because I have read virtually everything on the market and it's not that it couldn't work, its just the way it was put together. None really provided me with what I was after; a step by step guide that would take newbies at ground zero to a level where they had enough confidence to get success in the real world. Yes, observation is essential to discover exactly what others are doing that works, and then having the capability to record it and explain it in a manner that others can easily understand and utilize.

And, then I had my epiphany. The thought was very straightforward. It was a case of quite deluding myself with what ought to be, and execute what actually works. Results are what matters. What I believed was necessary was a system which was genuine along with clear cut advice and I was the one who needed to produce it. I instantly began using a scientific approach to online dating and testing what worked and what didn't. I continued on to more dates and good and bad relationships, but with a much different approach. I was now in control of my actions, and I felt so much better about myself, so much so that my confidence escalated. I no longer found women intimidating. I started to record my findings and writing about online dating techniques, including articles and moderating on several well-known dating sites. My family and friends often came to me for advice.

By performing this field research, I had flipped the switch to the understanding of what really worked for seducing women online, and being good looking or rich had nothing to do with it. It was more about being a man who had decided what he wanted and went after it by pursuing a strategy instead of the see how it goes mentality most apply to dating which is inevitably a plan to fail.

Eventually, through my rigorous field studies and also adopting an attitude of plan, do, check, action, I eventually developed techniques:

  • To get women almost guaranteed to respond to my first e-mail.
  • To stimulate a woman to send me her phone number the second time I emailed her.
  • To say things during that first phone call that would get a woman to meet me in person.
  • To prevent getting emotionally caught up within a cyber-relationship with someone that I hadn’t even met.
  • Within my profiles that were naturally attractive to women.
  • Which would determine the best times of the day and week to communicate with women in order to get the most responses.
  • That you should never say, criticize, condemn and complain during your online exchanges.
  • To ensure that my pictures were not only great, but also conveyed different aspects of my personality.
  • Written in my profile that conveyed lot of subtle meanings but contained very few words.
  • To avoid at all costs dishing out compliments and flattery willy nilly and took the attitude that in fact, it was me that was the prize.
  • To help me stand out from the pack and convey an edge that was memorable, witty and intelligent.

I can assure you that this list is endless.

As my success rate with online dating increased, others around me noticed that success and I began to get more and more comments like "How did you pull that off? You must have some special aftershave", and "Oh my god, he’s done it again", or on one occasion a couple of my friends were laughing to themselves before blurting out "Hey bro, we just nailed it, we know how you are getting all this success with women. The spa you bathed in in Japan must have given you special powers, when are you going to tell us your secrets?" After laughing for 20 minutes or so, that’s when I realized I had changed a lot within myself over that last six months and the results were obvious for all to see. To those around me, it was as if I had some sort of hidden powers. After the joking stopped I turned to them tongue in cheek and said "Guys thanks for the compliments, and thanks also for giving me a great new idea. Yes I have got secret powers and guess what; I am going to write a book and reveal all to you."

Consider everything in this step by step system as a wake-up call and a lifeline you can use when the going gets challenging in your activities online. I am going to explain to you how to write the perfect dating profile, select amazing photos and stop you from making the same time wasting mistakes that everyone else does. This system is an intuitive methodology meant for guys like you who want a clever way to hook up with women online without the pain of starting from ground level.By optimizing your profile with the tips, techniques and strategies that I outline, you will be looked upon as being far more desirable.

Why I am revealing my secrets?

I get great satisfaction in teaching others something that benefits them. This system is a compilation of everything I've discovered and used to achieve success. Not just that, but the information I'm going to reveal to you has not only been used by myself but others who have seen my success and hounded me to give them the same knowledge. My objective is to provide a system for you guys that are either considering or currently involved in online dating but haven't achieved real success yet.

Needless to say, I've made plenty of mistakes, and I've had a lot of success as well. The reality is that I have learned more from the failures, so I wrote this system to rescue you from some of the pain and provide you all of the gain so that you don't have to battle to get success for as long as I did. I have been blessed with the ability to read people's interactions and feelings.

Basically, I'm here to share with you all my collective wisdom, experience and knowledge gained from my 12 years’ experience of dating women online. In those 12 years I have been fortunate enough to be able to travel and meet women from all over the globe including Japan, UK, USA and Europe. Those women came from a broad range of cultures, with unique lifestyles and personalities. However, regardless of their background, there exist common underlying traits of behavior and thought processes that can be tapped into to make any woman feel attracted to you.

This system is straightforward, because it's based on your self-development, and not worrying yourself too much with what they think of you. I guarantee that, if you diligently follow my teachings, you will understand and be able to implement the techniques that I will reveal, and they will transform your dating results. Don't be afraid to experiment and tweak my techniques to suit your personality. My goal here is simply for you to take what I give you and own it, but whatever you do, make it personal.

Using my system, you can improve your online dating techniques and progress step by step in a structured manner, choosing to date as quickly or slowly as you wish from the comfort of your own home. You stay in control and call the shots.

Be warned, I am going to tell you how women tick online and why they tick by breaking it all down into a 5 stage system so that you can quickly and easily gain the insights, skills and strategies for meeting women online from all over the world. Like with anything we do in life, the more you do something, the greater degree of confidence and comfort you gain from it merely through repetition. Ultimately this will lead to perfect practice so that the application of my techniques and theories will eventually become second nature.

What is Online Dating?

This section will:

  • Give a brief history of Internet Dating
  • Address common preconceptions and stigmas
  • Explain the advantages and disadvantages of online dating
  • Categorize the various types of people that date online
  • Address common misconceptions about starting out
  • Explain the other most common dating methods
What’s in it for me?

Online dating can be described as meeting and socializing with people on the Internet. Even though it’s called online dating, people aren’t really dating online, but rather meeting people and making first contacts to see if they want to date the person. Like most things, people first want to know just what it is they will get out of it. Much of the answer depends on how much you are willing to put into it. You may just want to expand your social circle. You might just want a sex partner. You may be looking for a long term relationship. It all depends on you.

If you think that online dating means spending hours toiling over the computer writing and responding, think again. You don’t necessarily have to do this. Many online dating sites encourage meeting up or phone calls to avoid wasting a lot of time. You can focus more on whatever method makes you most comfortable. Once you find someone of interest, try to set a date or a time to talk on the phone. You don’t have to find someone of interest and then spend the next month with back and forth online chit chat.

A brief history of online dating

If you are thinking that online dating started with the World Wide Web, think again. Online dating has been going on as long as there has been a way to electronically communicate. Many of the early online daters (early adopters) simply connected through discussions via game board and forums. These early geeks were probably thought of as a bit nutty, but as the internet peaked out its large head, more and more people started to jump on board after hearing so many success stories.

As the popularity of the Internet increased, so did the popularity of chat rooms. Unfortunately it also became a haven for weirdos and individuals with malicious intentions. When the danger of the chat room became evident, some brilliant person developed the dating site. Dating sites add another layer of security, safety and anonymity that chat rooms did not have. They are now one of the most popular means to find a date with one out of every three relationships starting online.

Will it work for me?

Just about anyone can make an attempt at online dating; however success is really based on a variety of things:

Helpful attitudes

As with anything, if you expect any level of success, you have to have an optimistic attitude. If you go into it thinking you’ll never find anyone or that you are a loser for even attempting such a thing, then you will never succeed and your behavior will scream ‘loser’. It’s a self-fulfilling prophesy. Go into it expecting some level of success. Simply having this attitude will increase your chances. The fact that you are reading this system says that you are prepared to take positive action.

I do caution you to be realistic in your expectations. It is important to go into it with a positive attitude; however, if you are thinking that in the first week you’ll have twenty dates or be married within a year, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.

What you get out of it is what you put into it. Some guys think they can fill out their profile, stick a reasonably attractive photo up and sit on their thumbs and wait. No. You have to be proactive. Don’t’ be passive. Wink at women you like, send emails, conduct frequent searches as the dating sites are constantly changing. Many of the dating sites also offer advice on dating and other blog type helpful information that may give you some tips to success. What we are saying here is it is an active, not passive process that will require some of your time and attention.

Online dating is full of freaks

Just like the regular world, the online dating world has its share of freaks. There will be those people who are just strange and they know that this is the only way that can have some form of human interaction. Often they are not hard to identify, but sometimes one or two might slip through on your radar. If so, be sure to remain polite when letting them down. Here is where the beauty of online dating comes in. You can easily slip away into the darkness. It’s a lot harder to get away from freaks when you are stuck with them across the table at a restaurant. You’ll inevitably run across one or two of them. Just be hopeful that you can smell a rat in their profile.

Online dating is unsafe and full of liars and scammers

For those who have either never tried online dating or traditionalists, this mode of dating may seem unsafe. I’ve had more than a few guys tell me that I am mad to put myself out there with all of the crazy people out in the world. To that I say, you are just as likely to run into someone off balance on the street as you are online. The only difference is that there is no watchdog on the street and it’s a lot harder to run away.

Some guys will always feel a little uneasy with new ideas and new ways of doing things. Change is scary for a lot of people. Still, there are those scammers, adulterers, cheats, and liars who make their way to the dating sites. They like the anonymity of it too, but for more sinister reasons. Keep in mind that most dating sites have a report policy in place so that you can report these losers and get them off the site if need be.

Online dating is better or worse than traditional dating

Everyone has their opinion of traditional versus online dating. I say, it depends on what your own personal needs are. Neither is bad or good or better or worse. You determine what works best for you and your lifestyle. It may be one or more approaches.

Online dating will solve all of your problems

There is an old adage that says no matter where you go, there you are. Some guys think that meeting women online will be the answer to all of their past problems and woes. Let me be the first to tell you that this is just not so. If you have had repetitive issues and problems in the past, dating online won’t suddenly make them go away. In fact, it may even make them more pronounced. Perhaps it’s time to take a step back, fix the issue and then try to meet women online. If you’ve had issues offline and a host of problems, you will find those same issues rear their ugly head again and again until they are fixed. Damaged person means damaged relationship no matter where or how you first meet. Following the advice in this system will help you to manage yourself better, which will have a positive effect in your daily life and confidence. You can still do casual searching online while you are working on your issues.

Online dating is only used by young people

Online dating is for people of all ages. In fact more and more sites are popping up for seniors and people over 50. If you are an older individual, you shouldn’t feel intimidated by online dating. If you know how to send an email and text, you can definitely online date. These new age-specific sites are actually great, because you know you are not surfing through a sea of twenty somethings (with the understanding that some people are not always honest, of course).

The internet is a place where you can get away with being rude for fun

Internet dating is fun, joyful and can be very entertaining. However, it’s easy to forget that there are real people on the other side of that computer. Some people, knowing that they have the anonymity say things that they wouldn't normally say. There is never a cause for rudeness, be it on or off line. Women have feelings and those feelings can be hurt just as easily in online dating. Being inappropriate and rude may also be cause for the dating site to blacklist you from the site. The other thing to remember is word gets out, very quickly on the Internet. You don’t want to establish yourself as that guy.

Dating online means you are desperate

Some guys feel as though putting a concerted effort into dating means they are desperate or losers. It should all just flow naturally. Some may perceive that the right person will just waltz into your life and it’s that simple. Well it’s not. Rarely, these days, does it happen this way. You’ve got to make yourself available. When I say make yourself available, that means doing the things that you need to do to put yourself out there. This takes some planning and some attention to detail. It’s like the old adage you get out of it, what you put in. If you are willing to go through the steps in this system and really put together a plan for yourself, you are increasing your chance of success.

Online Versus Traditional Dating

It’s a smart idea to acclimate yourself to the online world. Dating online doesn’t have to be intimidating. Get to know the rules by doing your homework. Search through a few sites and get the lay of the land. The advantages of online dating include:

Filtering your ideal types

There are many advantages to online dating, some are obvious and some not so obvious. One of the main differences between online and offline dating is that offline dating first engages the physical where online engages the intellect.

Unlike traditional dating, online dating doesn’t have the advantage of engaging the senses of touch, sight, and smell. But there are many advantages. Viewing someone’s online profile can let you know instantly whether or not, that person matches who you are looking for and is in possession of any deal breakers. This saves a lot of time and heartache in the long run. You can see from her online profile right away if she never wants to have children or if she smokes or perhaps she hates men with blonde hair. Isn’t that better than showing up on a blind date with this woman, fidgeting with your blonde hair and stomping out your cigarette?

You don’t have that advantage with traditional dating. You may eventually discover this information, but only after several dates and endless hours of conversation and money spent. So, you might even say that online dating is an economical way of finding that perfect someone to spend your time with. The deal breakers show up early, so you can get out early if you need to.

Anonymity and control

One of the greatest advantages to online dating is anonymity. You can take your time and decide if she’s really the one you want to pursue without letting go of all of your personal information. The safety aspect is that, if you do run across a nut case, they will have a very hard time finding you. You can simply politely bow out of the conversation and disappear. You have the control and that not only makes it more comfortable, but it secures your identity from the crazies out there.

Keeping your options open

Online dating has become popular much for the same reason as online shopping. It’s so much easier to look through what is available in the convenience of your own home, rather than having to get all dressed and jazzed up to go out and spend gas going from shop to shop or on one date and then another. You can have a great and very busy social life without ever even leaving your home. And the beauty is you get to keep all of your options open. If you aren’t interested, you don’t have to go out with them. You can meet a wide variety of women or perhaps make deeper connections with only a few. All of it is totally up to you and that is the beauty. You are in control.

Online Types

Online Dating can be as murky and as full of lemons as finding a used car in the classifieds. Once you learn the lingo, it’s easier to spot the models with high mileage and no warranty.

The great thing about Internet dating is that you get to see up front a snapshot of the person and determine right from the start whether or not it’s someone you want to pursue. Individuals have a unique combination of looks, personality and characteristics, but most will fall into the following general categories:

The Dabbler

Always half interested, but never goes in to anything deeply. You may start a conversation with a dabbler, only to be left alone when she has gone off to dabble in something else.

The Nester

The Nester wants a committed relationship and has decided to use the Internet as a means to find one. She is strategic and has a plan to find that one special lasting relationship. She wants to nestle in with her longtime love and bunker down.

The Hormone

Everyone has hormones and that’s why everyone wants sex. The amount and kind of sex varies depending on the individual. She may want to have virtual sex with hot, steamy e-dialogue. She may only want to meet in the physical world to satisfy the need. Still others may crave a mixture of both.

The Butterfly

The Butterfly flutters from one dating room to the next, making friends with a variety of guys and casting her net wide. She’s not looking for anything long term. She just wants to shop around and see what is out there.

The Seeker

The Seeker is out there looking for something, but not quite sure what that is. She chats with a variety of guys, but is not quite sure what she is looking for. She may seemingly be on a constant and long term quest without knowing what she’s hunting.

Some women may fall into more than one of the above categories and still others may change from category to category depending on her life situation at the time. Whatever, type you may find yourself engaged with, be sure that you have the foundation of common interests minus the deal breakers. We will go into how to practically go about this later in Volume 2.

What about Other Ways to Get a Date?

Internet dating is the fastest, most efficient way to gather a pool of candidates. It could take you a lifetime to do the investigation that the computer comes up with in seconds.

Blind Dates

Let’s face it, most blind dates fail. Some even cringe at the thought of being ‘set up’ for that reason. On occasion some do work out, but for the most part; it’s a waste of time. And one of the most frustrating parts about blind dates is having a barrage of questions from the people who set it up. You don’t want to have to answer a ton of questions after each date, nor do you want to have to explain to your friends the many reasons that you didn’t pick their overly hairy, toothless, smelly friend.

Business Connections

There’s an old saying: don’t shit where you eat. Keep your dating world and your work world separate. When these two worlds start to mesh, you‘ve got yourself one hot heavy, drama ridden gossip pit. It’s really hard to get out of that pit. Even if you manage to get out, you will probably have quite a bit of bumps and bruises. Some of those wounds may be in the form of a lay-off or firing. Better check company policy on interoffice dating. It’s generally frowned upon.

I know that office dating is very tempting for most. After all, it’s where you spend most of your time and these are the people you spend most of your time with. However, office politics can get very murky and nasty. Add a hot office affair and it will only fan the flames of gossip.

Not to mention the possibility of lawsuits. We live in a very litigious society. Say the wrong thing or something that can even remotely be viewed as sexual harassment, and you may find yourself out in the cold.

Even if you escape the lawsuit, you won’t escape the other person if things go sour. You still have to get up every day and see that same person. Let’s just say that some people deal with breakups better than others. Things can get pretty nasty. And even nastier if you decide you want to go for yet another office hottie. Now you are looking at a pit of hell. Be smart, save yourself the headache, and stay away!

Bars

Contrary to some people’s opinions, bars are actually an awful way to find a good relationship. The words meat markets come to mind as I am writing this. You’ll have to wade through a ton of drunken, bimbo losers to even find someone to have an intelligent conversation with. And even then, you will have to get to know her through loud music, smokestacks, and annoying competing drunks. It’s one of the worse environments to meet women. After all that time spent coiffing, picking out the right outfit, getting to the place, you’ll want to get the best bang for your buck (no pun intended). And once you get there, it’s really tough to figure out how to approach someone in that type of venue. Most ladies will go to bars with friends, so you’ll have to barge through her sea of friends. And then what do you say? The most likelihood is that you’ll sit and drink and ponder your approach for so long that, once you do get the liquid courage up to go and say something, you sound like a slurring idiot. Even if you do find the courage and get a number, the chances are, the next sober day; she might not seem all that great.

Bars are a waste of time for the following reasons:

  • You may have one hundred women in the bar and only be physically attracted to ten. Out of those ten, six may have deal breaker characteristics such as smoking or children. Of the remaining four, two may already be in a relationship and the last two might have unsuitable personalities...but you won't even know that until you go up and speak to them! Compared to quickly reading through online profiles and filtering using matching systems, in bars you have to invest lots of time, effort and money on drinks before you can even see if you like someone.
  • Your odds of leaving the bar with a phone number or e-mail address are very low.
  • All of that time spent getting and preparing the right outfit is time consuming and expensive.
  • Most bar hopping happens in the wee hours of the night. If you have a regular job, this can be a very exhausting undertaking.
  • What do women do in bars? Drink. The fact that most of the women and you will be a slight bit impaired, means you might not make the best decision.
  • Approaching a stranger is very difficult and she will probably be with a gaggle of friends.
  • Standing in a bar alone is also hard.
  • You have an entire audience to witness potential failure.

Many people still go to bars to find dates, and that probably won’t ever change. All we are saying is that if you really want to get better return on investment for all of your efforts you might want to consider an alternative to bar hopping. Even if you do meet that special lady in a bar, we recommend that you take her out of that environment as soon as possible. It is virtually impossible to get to know someone in a loud, crowded, smoky room full of intoxicated individuals.

Church, social clubs or associations

Some people find love in church or in other social clubs. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with this, the waters can get a bit murky with gossip in these structures. If it doesn’t work out, you will still have to see that person in that setting and people will, by nature, want to know what happened. It could potentially set up a tense situation for you, the other person and everyone involved in the organization. Best to steer clear of this unless you think it’s a sure bet.

Churches can sometimes provide some possibilities; however, they also have their downfall: Everyone is already familiar to you. The male to female ratio is usually awful. The age balance is equally awful. If the relationship doesn’t work out, you still have to go back every Sunday and see the person over and over again and you may be the subject of the church gossip.

Singles resorts, tours and cruises

While resorts and singles tours and cruises can be fun, we caution you. Be sure to take a long a friend. Once you are on the boat or tour, you are somewhat trapped. If you are not making a connection with anyone, you may just sit there alone for the rest of the tour. Be sure to have a buddy along that understands when to make themselves scarce and when you need a shoulder to lean on. Buddies are also helpful in escaping annoying and overzealous suitors.

Despite the deceptive ads, actually very few cruises are totally singles only. Companies often devote a portion of the ship to the ‘singles’ population, but there will be a mixture of people on board. It’s a good idea to ask very specific details or you will be out of a lot of money and time. Also, be sure to ask what the average age of the tour participant is. If you’re fifty, and the average age is twenty, you’ll want a refund. Likewise, if you are twenty with a bunch of fifty year olds, you’ll want to scream – and also get a refund.

You will probably have to lay down a hefty fee for these tours. And the other thing to remember is, if you bring someone and share a room, you have the uncomfortable task of asking your roommate to make themselves scarce if you happen to be so lucky as to get lucky, if you know what I mean.

There are a few singles-only vacation spots, mostly in the Caribbean. However, a lot of them out of economic necessity now encourage families with very young children to travel. These vacations are expensive and random craps shoot.

The dating service

Did you know that some dating services charge upwards of $5,000 to set you up on a date? If you’ve got that kind of dough, congratulations to you and good luck wading through a pool of videos and profiles of women who just are too busy or too lazy to put any real effort into dating. This is probably going to be indicative of what it will be like to date them. Dating services are an expensive way to find a date with limited chance of success. Sadly, some dating services are even scams, setting people up with seemingly available women who only turn out to be models or working for the service on the side.

Newspaper Personals

I can’t believe that people actually still use these. Because of the popularity of the Internet, many newspapers combine ads with print and online listings. And the ads can be costly, compared to online dating. One ad is roughly the cost of an entire month on a dating site. And you are also tossing a coin, hoping that the special someone gets paper delivery or if not happens to get paper that day and happens to turn to your 1 inch by 1 inch ad. Not a good use of your time.

There was a time when newspaper personals were a viable means of finding a date and a very popular one; however, I don’t know many people who use them anymore. Perhaps that is why many newspapers are combining the print ads with online listings and voicemail boxes to stay up with the times and also stay up with what is working. A voice mailbox: You and your prospects can listen to each other and leave a voice message.

The voice mailbox isn’t a bad option; however, it doesn’t come cheap. Some require that women responding to your ad pay $2.99 per minute. They will also charge you for listening to the responses. Those fees can add up pretty quickly to some hefty amounts. Further, once a potential suitor finds out that they will be charged just to respond, many will just skip it. We predict a very short lifespan for the newspaper ad.

Speed dating

Speed dating is a pre-planned dating extravaganza where you are placed in a room with other gals and guys and then given five minutes to sit with each one. A bell usually goes off and everyone rotates to the next person. At the end of the night, you fill out a card with the names of the women you are interested in speaking to again. Brilliant in time efficiency, however, can be a bit stressful and highly competitive.

One of the great things about speed dating is they are often divided by age group, so you know if you are going to a speed dating event for 50 and over, you won’t be trolling through a sea of women who look you’re your children. The disadvantage is five minutes is a very short time to try to impress someone and have a reasonable two-way conversation.

Here are the basic elements of speed dating:

  • Identify a speed/turbo dating venue in your area and sign up.
  • Meet at the designated place and time and take a seat at one of eight or ten tables for two. A person of the opposite sex is also seated at each table.
  • When the starter sounds the signal, you then have five to seven minutes to converse, impress etc.
  • When the time is up, switch to a new table and so on.
  • You go home.
  • If you have a match, you get the person’s contact info.

Speed dating can be very successful for guys who are very outgoing, quick witted and impress well and quickly. For those who are a little shy, it can be daunting. And then there are times when not one person chooses to see you again.

Lunch clubs and dinner mingles

Lunch and dinner clubs can be fun, but complicated and pricey. The cost for some of these clubs may run into the thousands of dollars. Be sure to read all of the fine print. Often times you are sitting at a table competing with other singles and, even more frustrating, you may not be next to the person that really catches your eye. These clubs can often be a source of frustration and difficult to navigate your way through this somewhat structured scenario.

Video dating

Video dating has been around for a very long time. It’s a very expensive way of getting dates. The dating service charges you an astronomical fee to view a certain number of videos. Out of those videos, you get to pick out those you are interested in dating. Now, the other person has to agree to meet you. Once they do, the agency sets up a meeting.

You can spend quite a bit of your time viewing videos at the dating service. You can drop a large amount of dough here too. One of the main advantages of using a dating service is safety. Most dating services do have an intricate checks and balances system. In other words, they work hard to screen out the serial killers, rapists and weirdos. Still, they can’t guarantee a match. If you are willing to invest a lot of time and money, it may be the way to go for you, but don’t expect great results.

Through your friends

Doesn’t meeting women through your friends sound so simple and harmless? Trust me, it’s not. Meeting love interests is a real pain in the butt for your amigos.

Using this option, you need to enlist your friends’ help to ferret out those hidden singles, like buried treasure, who live among you but rarely appear in your social circles. You’re hypothetically supposed to:

  • Call every one of your friends and even casual acquaintances and demand that they search their souls for names of any singles.
  • Warn your friends that you’ll call back in a week, ready to receive this list.
  • Repeat as needed until you achieve satisfaction, or until your friends no longer talk to you.

Extracting contacts from your friends is like a dental procedure. And just as with a dental procedure, you may require an anesthetic before you have the nerve to call your friends again. This method may result in a meager harvest, but in any event, we think the price may be too great.

Meeting women in random places

You don’t need a statistics degree to realize that finding a dating match is frighteningly random. So why not just let nature take its course? After all, if you were married previously, you probably did it that way before.

We know a couple of good reasons why meeting women in random places may not work again:

  • The last time you met your mate or significant other or whatever your term of choice is, you were probably in a social environment with a high concentration of singles such as college and mating was the name of the game with occasional studying thrown in to keep your parents happy. But odds are that nowadays you’re in a full-time job somewhere in the suburbs, you may have children, and your access to other singles is limited. Furthermore, your time is seriously limited. You have few waking hours to be out there, and you need to use those hours more productively.
  • You’re not as young as you used to be, and your pool of single friends is vastly smaller than it used to be as many are married.

In short, you can’t leave matters to chance any longer. Speaking of which:

Chance meetings

This is quite the same as the above point. We aren’t saying that chance meetings don’t happen, they do. However, they do with rare frequency. Why would you want to place your odds on something so random as a random meeting? It’s kind of like playing the lottery every week instead of looking for a job. One has a much greater chance of paying off.

The Benefits of Online Dating

Sometimes things are better said by others, here are comments from a number of clients on the advantages of dating online:

Online dating saves time

“It’s convenient. The Internet is 24/7, I can answer in my own time.”

“I can meet more women in less time. I’d rather spend two hours online connecting with a few women rather than spending two hours getting to know just one over dinner.”

Online dating saves energy

“It takes several dates before you get to know someone. It’s easier to interact online than to run around town dating every night.”

“Dating someone online is less stressful: you can even do it on a bad hair day in your pajamas.”

Online dating saves money

“Meeting women online is much less expensive than going out to meet women.”

“You can get to know someone before you spend money on taxis, trains, drinks and food.”

Online dating helps avoid potential heartache, and lets you date by design rather than by default.

“Online dating forces you to define the kind of person you want and need in life so you’re less likely to settle for or get involved with the wrong person.”

“Knowing your must-haves and deal-breakers upfront makes it quick and easy to spot them in someone’s profile or email.”

“Modern sites like whitewomenblackmendating.com have great matching systems to filter out unsuitable people before starting the search”

Online dating is much safer than traditional dating

“You can stay fairly anonymous until you’ve had your questions answered and check them out.”

“You can arrange to meet in a neutral public location, without giving out your phone number or business card.”

Online dating offers more opportunities to meet more women

“Sometimes you connect online with women that end up great friends.”

“There are millions more fish in the Internet sea than the local bar.”

Online dating allows you to pre-screen, pre-qualify and predict your first date

“You can usually tell if your profiles match at a glance.”

“You can get to know If you like somebody or have something in common before you agree to start dating. By the time you go out you are reasonably sure you’ll have something to talk about and a good time.”

Online dating leaves you in control

“You decide what kind of relationship you’re looking for and when to take It to the next level.”

“You can stay on a first name basis, and you only have to reveal what you feel comfortable revealing.”

Online dating gives implied permission to ask and answer the tough questions up-front

“Women are motivated to answer openly, if they want a date.”

“It’s easier to type a question when you’re not looking into someone’s eyes.”

“When you’re writing an email, you get to think before you answer.”

“It’s amazing what women are willing to reveal online anonymously that they’d never imagine revealing on a date.”

Ending an online relationship is less complicated

“If you discover you’re not an ideal match, goodbyes are as easy as a Dear Jane email”

“People can come on with life-long intentions and leave with the click of a mouse.”

Conclusion

Online dating is increasing rapidly with more and more specialist websites appearing daily. People are fast realizing that it has many advantages over traditional methods and are turning to online dating as the modern intelligent way to initiate dates. Most dating websites have a large scope of members to choose from and host an abundance of state of the art facilities which enables you to quickly filter through potential dates that match your interests and personality. All in all it is now recognized as a fast and effective way of finding your ideal future partner. All in all, online dating is a knockout winning hands down over traditional methods.

Which Dating Site?

This section will:

  • Give an overview of the different types of dating site available
  • Help you find a dating site that fits your particular needs
  • Evaluate the various services available to suit your wallet
What types of dating sites exist?

The majority of guys that begin internet dating wind up confused at first from the countless numbers of online dating sites on the market contending for your consideration and hard earned cash. Some may be exactly what you need but it’s difficult to assess whether you will like the facilities on offer, in the same way that you don't know if you would like the food at a restaurant, without trying it out! This could certainly turn out to be rather demanding as well as time intensive if performed frequently.

Therefore just where do you begin? Knowledge of the various kinds of dating web sites that exist is a great place to start. To begin with, virtually no two online dating websites seem exactly the same, due to the fact that the wiz kids that develop them want them to look distinct, nevertheless virtually all online dating sites come under a specific category.

Free vs paid sites

Many dating sites offer great services but charge for using them, whilst others don't ask for any money...at least not upfront. The difficult thing is to find that out at the first instance, since nearly all allow you to sign up for free. Generally websites don't talk about money before you have registered, submitted a photo and found some women that you would like to contact. Any time you attempt to send a message to the prospective dates, an irritating warning pops up asking to “upgrade your membership to use this facility”. Right up until that time, it is quite challenging and quite often not possible to come across any details with regards to subscription costs on the website.

Free sites

Right now, you most likely are curious how come anybody might want to purchase a dating membership if the very same functions are available at no cost somewhere else. However, there’s always a catch.

Online dating sites have a lot going on in the background in regards to administration, the hardware, programmers and other staff to build and keep them running well. Customer technical support, safety and security are very important aspects of a dating site and require lots of time and effort to run efficiently and all this costs money. Totally free websites typically get this income through advertising and promotion, which frequently requires their principal concern, is actually making sure the advertising companies are satisfied. Regrettably, this usually results in the sites being plastered with ads, pop ups and lots of distracting promotions.

The biggest issue though with free sites is that personal details and email addresses are often purchased and sent on to third parties who contact you with further promotions of their products, and then sometimes resell your details. Before you know it your email inbox is full of spam. These free sites may also be infected with Adware and Spyware programs which will download onto your PC and monitor your browsing activity. The black arts mentality does not apply to all free sites of course, but its a risk you will always take. This really is yet another instance just where it is well worth your time reading the terms and conditions, along with the online privacy policy of any site you would like to enroll in. As a minimum 100% free dating sites generally have poor layouts in addition to being cluttered with many different adverts which is frustrating when all you want to see is potential dates.

Due to the fact that free dating websites are extremely simple to sign up for and demand absolutely no money, they frequently pull in lots of scammers and fraudsters who use them for an quick method of reaching trusting individuals without the need to pay for anything themselves. The majority of free service sites are usually not properly administered therefore, the obligation of keeping safe and secure is left down to you.

These kinds of websites may also be common meeting places for those who are not so serious about dating for example the ones wanting a quick lay or individuals just casually browsing. Paid websites are most always significantly better moderated and provide far better customer care, since they count on registration fees to exist. The payment factor invariably has a tendency to discourage the low-end users such as scammers, con artists, perverts and time wasters from signing up.

Paid sites

Price ranges for dating subscriptions vary from site to site and there is no standard benchmark to compare against. Payment structures vary from site to site but several levels of subscription and payment period options are typically available, for example Gold or VIP access for 1 month, 3 months, 6 months, 1 year, paid upfront or monthly. Greater discounts are applied if you sign up for longer but expect to pay from around $15 to $40 a month for full membership dependent on the site and membership level.

Paid dating sites run as membership subscription sites, and once you enter your credit card details, you will get recurring charges until you cancel the subscription in writing by letter or email. The terms and conditions often contain the exact cancellation procedure but more often than not its buried deeply within the site for obvious reasons.

The majority of paid websites will give you an absolutely free trial run, but some request for your credit card details at this point. If that happens, it's likely they will start charging you automatically at the end of the trial if you don't cancel the membership. Ensure you are aware of their terms before you sign up in order to avoid being caught out and having the hassle of trying to claim back money later. Also beware that if you sign up for a certain period and cancel before the period ends you will still be liable to pay for the full period without any partial refund.

Generally speaking, the greater the subscription costs, the more probable it is that the site will attract serious daters who are looking for long term relationships.

Paid vs free conclusion

To conclude, in case you are unable to decide, you might be thinking of joining a free site to see what is out there. Despite the fact that lots of the free sites available are frustrating to use, there are a few which are fit for purpose. Numerous guys have found their ideal match on a free dating site with the added bonus of it not costing anything. However the major advantage of paid sites is that they provide advanced matching systems, search facilities, and the latest methods of communication, which help you find and start making contact with women that match your interests and personality faster and more effectively. Plus paid subscription sites offer more customer care and security of your personal details and from scammers.

Advice

I have used many free and paid sites and my own experience is that free sites are ok to see what's out there. However, if you want to do things properly then it's worth investing in a good quality paid subscription site as they produce a far superior all round experience, resulting in better results, meaning you get more choice of the type of women you are searching for.

General Membership vs Niche Sites

Any dating site you come across will can be subdivided into being either a general mainstream site, or under a specialist niche area such as adult, black, Asian, tall, blonde, uniform, disabled, fit, rich, etc.

General membership sites

These dating sites have a wide-ranging pool of members and are not targeted towards any particular group of people. As well as the big name sites you sometimes see on commercials, there are a few smaller general sites with growing memberships. The larger sites tend to be well maintained, with a large database of members and good facilities. Another advantage of these large sites is because of the big numbers they are likely to return lots of local results. General membership sites are ideal if you have no special preferences.

Niche sites

Niche dating is on the increase with new sites appearing daily. Niche sites tend to specialize in a particular sub culture such as race, sexual orientation, religious belief, physical preference, interest, hobby or lifestyle. Some examples include tall, short, thin, large, ginger, gothic, blonde, lesbian, black, Asian, interracial, disabled, uniform. The sky is the limit. It's a growing area of the market simply because you can join a site with like-minded individuals and save time having to filter through 90% of completely unsuitable types that don't interest you. Joining a niche site often produces great results because you have instantly filtered through to women that are more likely to match your preferences.

Is This the Right Site for Me?

Although you may have reduced your search to a specific kind of dating site and understand what you’re seeking, there will still be several sites to select from. Generally speaking, I would advise that you ought to browse through a minimum of five to ten different dating sites prior to signing up for any sort of cost-free trials. This will provide an initial understanding of what’s out there.

Whenever evaluating a dating site, take into account the following aspects before making any decision to sign up to its services:

  • Does the site have a professional look and feel or is it amateurish with a cut and paste look?
  • Is the site simple to use and easy to find your way around?
  • Does the site load up members quickly or does it freeze up or load slowly?
  • Are there any error messages or broken links?
  • What features and facilities does the site offer?
  • All sites should allow you to upload a profile and a photo as a minimum functionality.
  • Does the website provide a live chat facility along with messaging?
  • Are there plenty of individuals matching the requirements you specified?
  • Does it allow the contacting of all members, both paid and free and what subscription level allows that?
  • How many of the members that you have browsed would you consider as potential matches?

It is possible to detect a lot about a site and its membership base during the registration process. Online dating sites aim to appeal to their particular customers and will therefore incorporate questions with an appeal to the kind of individuals they expect to visit the site. The well-established sites have developed the site functions and facilities based on customer feedback and their registration process can therefore often reveal information about the type of members signing up.

Select a few sites out of the ones you have browsed, and sign up for the free trial to be able to conduct a more in depth search. Avoid those sites that request your credit card information at this stage. Its also a good idea to set up an internet email address which you can easily discard if you find lots of junk and unwanted mail being sent there. If the search results are good in terms of lots of potential members, you may wish to consider signing up for a free trial. If that goes well and you like the site facilities then consider a paid membership.

Free trials are usually restrictive, a few days at the most or limited access to facilities, so you should make sure that you check them out fully in that time. Here are some things to note:

  • Just subscribe to one free trial offer at any given time. Although you may wish to sign up for several sites, don’t spread yourself too thin. Take time and give each site your full attention, make a note of your findings, then move on to the next one.
  • Go through the conditions and terms. This really is essential. By registering for a free trial you will be getting into a binding agreement. Never sign up for anything if you are unsure whether it’s a reputable site or not.
  • Create your profile username, tagline, description and photo before the trial period starts, so you are not wasting time wondering what to enter into the site and end up doing it half assed.
  • Scrutinize the search results and contact as many potential suitors as possible.
  • Don’t be silly enough to make use of the free trial as a way of tempting individuals away from website just to save money. You would just look like a scammer or cheapskate, plus your anonymity would be compromised.
  • In the event you don’t like the website, terminate your membership prior to expiry of the trial period. Ensure you know how to do this beforehand.

Selecting a Dating Website That Will Work For You

You might want to look for a website that meets your particular interests and culture, for instance a website for long term relationships, affairs, interracial, or adult dating. Examine your preferences and browse the net to see if you can find niche sites which match up to your special interests. For example, if you are into outdoor sports, or uniforms there are plenty of dating sites specializing in those areas. It’s surprising what's out there, and as mentioned earlier there are new niche dating sites popping up daily. Regardless if it's general or niche there are things that all dating sites have in common:

  • Facilities to upload photos are always available.
  • You will be asked to enter some basic information at sign up regarding your personal attributes and preferences for potential dates. These are used for matching in search results.
  • The profile will provide space for the dater to talk about themselves in their own words.
  • The person posting the listing writes the profile.
  • Most sites ask for your thoughts on your ideal date.
  • You can search by age, location, religion and many other attributes according to membership level.

A good idea here is to think about and prepare all your profile information beforehand - username, tagline, photos, preferences, and profile description. How to do this is covered in 'Volume 3 - Creating Your Online Profile'. Most if not all sites request this basic information so keep it handy in files on your PC hard drive.

Irrespective of your preferences or way of life, there will be online dating sites that will assist you discover the kind of woman you would like to meet. To find a dating site which is suitable for you here is a recap of some pointers to bear in mind:

  • Invest some time during your free trial period to really explore the site.
  • Ensure when using search/browsing facilities that the selection is broad enough to give you lots of initial results. You can filter them down later on.
  • Do some research or seek reviews and recommendations of other users before signing up.
  • Make sure that women on the site are actually searching for the same kind of relationship that you are therefore, try to find consistency.
  • Selects sites that are secure and you feel comfortable using.
  • Try a few different sites as it will widen your net.
Advice

You now you have an overview of the types of sites that exist. I would recommend having a browse through some general sites, and sites within niche areas that may interest you. Make a note of some of the ones that appeal to you. You could sign up now or better still complete the rest of the system. This will ensure that you are fully prepared before you put yourself out there - better to get a fuller understanding of women and what they look for in a man first, and how to create an excellent profile which will attract the types of women you seek.

There are hundreds of thousands of dating sites online so it's important to create a shortlist based around the factors that we have pointed out and YOUR personal preferences. It wouldn't be possible to list all but here and they are continually changing. There are lots of review sites out there which evaluate dating sites. When you do eventually sign up remember to try things out, if the website doesn’t feel right to you, then move on to another one.